Christmas, To Me

I 

I have no use for angels

singing carols in mid-flight.

Give me a colony of bats

flapping their wings in the night

and gingerbread men dancing

and swaying in the breeze

as they hang by their necks

from the branches of Christmas trees.

If you want to give me a gift,

don't send a partridge in a pear tree.

I would much rather have

a vulture in a bare tree.

I never understood the fascination

with that stupid little elf.

Give me a skull with a Santa hat

and I'll put it on my shelf.

I don't want a bearded man in red

to come down my chimney and say, "Ho ho ho!"

I want Vincent Price to come back from the dead

and read me stories by Edgar Allan Poe.

I love to hear the ghost of Jacob Marley

moaning and dragging his chains.

Christmas, to me, is Halloween

with tinsel and candy canes. - Jeff Barnes

have no use for angels

singing carols in mid-flight.

Give me a colony of bats

flapping their wings in the night

and gingerbread men dancing

and swaying in the breeze

as they hang by their necks

from the branches of Christmas trees.

If you want to give me a gift,

don't send a partridge in a pear tree.

I would much rather have

a vulture in a bare tree.

I never understood the fascination

with that stupid little elf.

Give me a skull with a Santa hat

and I'll put it on my shelf.

I don't want a bearded man in red

to come down my chimney and say, "Ho ho ho!"

I want Vincent Price to come back from the dead

and read me stories by Edgar Allan Poe.

I love to hear the ghost of Jacob Marley

moaning and dragging his chains.

Christmas, to me, is Halloween

with tinsel and candy canes. - Jeff Barnes