The Sofa on the Ceiling

You can put your sofa on the ceiling,
watch the sun rise on your floor,
see your bulldog dance the samba
as you listen to your goldfish roar.

Feel free to wear a parka in Hawaii
or a bikini at the south pole.
Discover the secrets of the universe
by looking in your toilet bowl.

Ride your surfboard to another galaxy.

Don't let anyone tell you that you can't.

If you like, fill a teacup with topsoil

and grow yourself a bubblegum plant.

You can sail a submarine over the Himalayas

and celebrate Christmas in May.

Some of us go down the rabbit hole

thirty-seven million times a day. - Jeff Barnes

Proud Boys

From the time they lay in their cradles,
soiling their diapers
and sucking on their binkies

they were raised on a steady diet

of Fox News, fast food burgers,

Hostess Ding Dongs and Twinkies.

They have big trucks and they have big guns

to compensate for their tiny brains

and their microscopic dinkies. - Jeff Barnes

Haiku

Eating cold pizza while standing in the kitchen -- New Year afternoon. - Jeff Barnes