The Handy Shop

It was down the hill from where I lived
and across the railroad tracks.
It had bubble gum cards, pop, and candy
and uncounted paperbacks.

There was a big freezer case
filled with all kinds of ice cream,
racks of black and white nightmares
and pulpy four-color dreams.

I can still smell the newsprint
and feel the cheap wooden floor.
I wish I could browse through their comics,
but the Handy Shop is no more. - Jeff Barnes

Chewing Gum

He lives his life the way he chews gum,

full of hope and eager to savor,

though after a time he begins to notice

that it has completely lost its flavor.

He always feels disillusioned

whenever the taste goes south,

leaving him to masticate

a rubbery dull wad in his mouth.

And yet he always puts more gum in,

though the flavor will inevitably pall.

Will he ever realize that he should

never have opened the pack at all? - Jeff Barnes

A Colony of Penguin Haiku

Propelled by his wings,

he soars above the landscape

of the sea bottom.

Emperor penguin

stands just about twelve inches

shorter than my wife.

Balanced on dad's feet,

protected by his brood pouch --

unhatched penguin egg.

Rockhopper penguin

resembles a punk rocker

with that crazy 'do.

The only sounds

among mountains of madness --

squawking of penguins. - Jeff Barnes

A Rhyming Haiku for COVID-19

Sheltering in place,
careful not to touch my face.
Goodbye, human race? - Jeff Barnes

Haiku

New Year's second day --

perched atop a garbage can,
crow greets the morning. - Jeff Barnes

Haiku

Steadfastly asleep --
4 PM on New Year's Day.
Unambitious cat. - Jeff Barnes

The Ugliest Christmas Sweater

When I sit down with pen in hand

to write Santa Claus my annual letter,

the only thing I will ask him for

is the world's ugliest Christmas sweater,

one that depicts Cthulhu

driving a big red sleigh

and a hippopotamus in a tutu

performing the Nutcracker ballet,

a sweater sprinkled with snowflakes

of many sizes and shapes

and Santa in a spaceship bringing presents

to the Planet of the Apes

and a unicorn and llama

running though the snow,

while Godzilla and King Kong

play hockey on a giant ice floe

while standing by in a Santa suit

would be Edgar Allan Poe,

and a Yeti wearing an ugly Christmas sweater,

so I would have an ugly Christmas sweater

within an ugly Christmas sweater.

Could there possibly be anything better?

Maybe a Yeti wearing an ugly Christmas sweater

depicting a Yeti wearing an ugly Christmas sweater

depicting a Yeti wearing an ugly Christmas sweater

depicting a Yeti wearing an ugly Christmas sweater

ad infinitum.

That's the only item

I'll ask Santa for

when I write him! - Jeff Barnes