Today's poem requires a bit of explanation. This is the prompt I was following:
Begin the poem with a metaphor.
Say something specific but utterly preposterous.
Use at least one image for each of the five senses, either in succession or scattered randomly throughout the poem.
Use one example of synesthesia (mixing the senses).
Use the proper name of a person and the proper name of a place.
Contradict something you said earlier in the poem.
Change direction or digress from the last thing you said.
Use a word (slang?) you’ve never seen in a poem.
Use an example of false cause-effect logic.
Use a piece of talk you’ve actually heard (preferably in dialect and/or which you don’t understand).
Create a metaphor using the following construction: “The (adjective) (concrete noun) of (abstract noun) . . .”
Use an image in such a way as to reverse its usual associative qualities.
Make the persona or character in the poem do something he or she could not do in “real life.”
Refer to yourself by nickname and in the third person.
Write in the future tense, such that part of the poem seems to be a prediction.
Modify a noun with an unlikely adjective.
Make a declarative assertion that sounds convincing but that finally makes no sense.
Use a phrase from a language other than English.
Make a non-human object say or do something human (personification).
Close the poem with a vivid image that makes no statement, but that “echoes” an image from earlier in the poem.
I felt overwhelmed by this and told my wife that whatever I could come up with would make no sense and be absolutely nuts. She said, "Oh, like a Trump speech!"
Eureka! That was it! So here it is:
The Speech
Life these days
is like being a cat
at the window
yelling, "get off my lawn!"
at the birds outside.
You can see them but
but it will be a long, long time
before you can go out
or hear their twittering.
Can't feel the wind
can't smell the flowers
or feel the ground under
your paws.
You can't get out
and smell the sunlight.
Abraham Lincoln once said
that America would never be
destroyed from the outside
and that's why we've got
to do the job ourselves.
We've got to fight
this thing from
the halls of Montezuma
to the shores of Gettysburg
where Lincoln gave his address.
He could do that
because they didn't have junk mail
in those days,
but pretty soon
you'll be able to go out
to Gettysburg or wherever
because this thing is almost over.
We've got it beat, believe me,
but you have to stay inside
you can't go out and spread it.
We're beating this thing
it'll soon be over,
so if someone says different
you have to clap back!
You have to clap back!
Budge up, people,
budge up!
You can't let them say
that this COVID-19 will
become COVID-20 or
whatever number
because they'll keep adding numbers,
they want to get this thing
at the highest number possible
that I can tell you!
They are shady salesmen
peddling panic.
Only I can fan the flames
to cool things down
and restore common sense!
I alone!
I know we all have to
work together, but only
I can restore sanity!
This genius will do it
and all will be well!
It's going to be
a blue Sunday in hell
and the flames will die down
they will be gone,
everything will be cool,
do you understand me?
The French have a saying,
"Merci beaucoup."
I think that means
mercy buckets
and there will be
plenty of mercy
buckets will dump
gallons of mercy on
us and it will be okay!
Calmness and okayness!
Calmess and okayness! - Jeff Barnes
