Mausoleum

 A grave is lonely, dirty, and dark.
That's why I want a mausoleum instead,
so that I might have a spacious place
to accommodate me after I am dead.

Don't take me to the crematorium.

I won't need an embalmer or gravedigger.

I just want to be stuffed and mounted

like Roy Rogers's beloved horse, Trigger.

Prop me up on a comfy couch

in front of a widescreen TV

so that my friends may come and visit

and watch some movies with me.

There will be plenty of food on hand

in case anyone wants a snack.

I'll have the fridge frequently restocked

so my friends will keep coming back. - Jeff Barnes

Haiku

Taken unawares --
poor broken-necked daffodils
drooping in the cold. - Jeff Barnes

Worst Christmas Haiku Ever

What a place to die! Stink bug in the litter box this Christmas morning. - Jeff Barnes

Haiku

 Frozen in the sky
as if in morning sun's thrall --
winter solstice moon. -  Jeff Barnes

The Smells of Christmas, 1965: A Haiku Sequence

I watch Christmas lights
outside the kitchen window.
Mom's sugar cookies.

Gotta be saintly

lest Santa Claus pass me by.

Turkey's almost done.

Best present ever!

Mattel's Creeple Peeple set!

Stinky Plastigoop! - Jeff Barnes

Almost October

A barely visible half moon hovers in the pale blue sky.

Leaves glow yellow on the trees as the day begins to die.

Slowly the world

becomes more quiet.

Even the wind

is a mere whisper.

The only urgency

is in the crickets'

chirping as the night

grows crisper. -- Jeff Barnes

Haiku

Pumpkin orange sun -- open field fading to night -- eve of October -- Jeff Barnes