Haiku

Tree shadows on snow
in the pre-midnight moonlight --
last night of the year. - Jeff Barnes

Haiku

Morning glow of trees
leafless in the rising sun –
Winter Solstice Day. – Jeff Barnes

Haiku

Last autumn sunset –
ice blue and melon pink sky.
Windows catch the light. – Jeff Barnes

Christmas Songs for Krishna

We sang Christmas songs for Krishna
on the day purple turned to black
and Buddha came to El Dorado
astride a chestnut yak.

Poseidon took a nap in Egypt
in the shade of the great Sphinx.
Jesus and Mohamed went to Stonehenge
and played a game of tiddlywinks.

Eros drew back his bow
and sent an arrow into outer space.
Ganesha was in Machu Picchu
playing an upright bass.

Freya and Hecate went to Las Vegas
and had a girls' night out.
The Flying Spaghetti Monster went to the river Styx
to fish for rainbow trout.

Our Lady of Guadalupe
danced barefoot in the snow
as Athena gently kissed Krishna
underneath the mistletoe. - Jeff Barnes

Late November

Once fiery leaves
now fall ahead of the snow.
The trees look half dressed. - Jeff Barnes

Doughnut Variations

Every spring
my love and I
drive to the mountains
of Eastern Pennsylvania
to see the doughnut trees
in full bloom.

Legend has it
that no one who has
ever entered a doughnut hole
has come out.

When my grandfather,
relaxing with a cigar,
blew smoke rings,
the ghost of my grandmother
snatched them out of the air,
dunked them in coffee
and ate them.

Paleontologists digging in Montana
once found a fossilized doughnut
in the rib cage
of a Tyrannosaurus rex.

My most profound
childhood experience
was seeing Heaven
when I looked through the hole
of a doughnut shaped cloud. -- Jeff Barnes

Ode to Mr. Peanut

He's an urbane winsome dandy
with his white gloves and his spats,
his elegant ebony walking stick,
his monocle and his top hat.

He's a smooth-talking persuader,
a metrosexual fashion plate.
Not even a perpetual calendar
has had as many dates.

Glamorous models, princesses, and movie stars
have all fallen under his spell.
His magnetism is amazing for someone
who keeps his nuts in a shell. - Jeff Barnes

Haiku

Orange morning glow --
November leaves like embers.
Cat lies on the deck. - Jeff Barnes

Haiku

Like skeleton hands
discarding candy wrappers --
trees in October. -- Jeff Barnes​

October Haiku

Cataracts of clouds
disturbs October's darkness.
The unsleeping moon. - Jeff Barnes

Warhol Haiku

Cherries or nipples?
In Warhol's ice cream painting
it hardly matters. - Jeff Barnes

Senescence

I remember writing

on my thirtieth birthday

a haiku about wind

and cold rain

on the eve of November.

Nearly 28 years later,

I laugh at my young self

thinking he was old

and hope I will amuse

my octogenarian self

if he lives to read this poem

about my vanishing hair and

my old man legs

and my I-don't-care-what-

they-look-like-I-just-

want-to-be-comfortable

shoes,

about how I will own my age

as I will own the cane

that I will inevitably need

someday,

how I will kill

the role of 

cantankerous old man

before it kills me

and how I hope to die

on a gusty autumn day

that my spirit might

dance once more

in a swirl of orange and red

before wafting away

to nothing.   - Jeff Barnes

Paint Doodle 1

Road Trip, Anyone?

There's a town in Vermont called Derby
but you can't wear it on your head,
a town in Maryland called Redhouse,
though not all the houses there are red.

Wisconsin has a town called Walker,
though it doesn't have a pair of legs.
If you visit Chicken, Alaska
don't expect it to lay any eggs.

You can go to Frankenstein, Missouri
but you won't find a monster there.
You are welcome to visit Bald Head, Maine
even if you have a full head of hair.

Beardstown, Illinois has over 5,000 people,
many of whom are clean shaven,
and if you hate towns with coffee shops,
Hot Coffee, Mississippi is your haven.

There's a town in Indiana called Santa Claus,
though it's a long way from the North Pole.
You are always welcome in Hell, Michigan,
whether or not you are pure of soul.

Pennsylvania has a town called State College.
You might go there to get a diploma.
Or maybe you prefer not to go anywhere,
in which case I recommend Nowhere, Oklahoma. - Jeff Barnes

Norma Desmond in Hell (photo collage by Jeff Barnes)

Dream

I had a dream that my maternal grandmother, who has been dead since 1973, came back.  Apparently they only thought she was dead and had  buried her alive, and after she had screamed for help for 44 years, someone finally heard her, and they exhumed her.  There was no explanation for how she didn't suffocate or starve in that time or how she survived being embalmed.

But she looked rather healthy and seemed in good spirits.

I have a feeling that this is one of those dreams that will stay with me for a long time.

Hidden Faces

Just before afternoon
flickers out
the sun leaves a
cranberry colored afterglow

that penetrates a filigree
of naked branches,
casts patterns that reveal
hidden faces in the snow. - Jeff Barnes

Gizmo and Eraserhead

Yesterday evening Aquarius and I watched David Lynch's surrealist masterpiece, Eraserhead. It was the first time Aquarius had seen it, and I think she found it as fascinating as I do.  The real surprise, however, was our cat Gizmo's reaction to it.  He really let out some bizarre meows that seemed to ask, What the fuck?????  It was pretty funny.  I managed to snap this photo.

Haiku Cluster for a Tedious Work Meeting

Post-It note poems --
Unless you write really small,
they should be haiku.

She drones on and on.
How sad that we are wasting
this beautiful day!

Even on hot days
she should never wear sandals.
She has ugly feet.

Self-important bitch!
Her hair looks like a helmet.
Administrator.

I'm like James Stockdale.
Who am I? Why am I here?
I want to zone out. - Jeff Barnes

The shaping of my mind

The things that shaped my mind in childhood were Batman (the 1966 TV show), The Beatles (my older sister was a huge fan, so I literally grew up with their music, assuming I grew up at all), cartoons (the classic Warner Bros. cartoons but many other as well, such as The Flintstones, Jonny Quest, Scooby Doo, The Pink Panther, The Jetsons, Gumby, Birdman, Speed Racer, and others), the classic monster movies (Universal classics and others), comic books (superheroes but also many other kinds), Peanuts (the comic strip, TV specials and movies), and The Three Stooges.  All this stuff got mixed up in my head and has stayed with me.  It was the best part of childhood, as far as I'm concerned.  I never fit in well with the other kids, but my inner life was rich!