Douglas & Me

I have no brothers or sisters.
I am an only child.
But ever since Douglas arrived
I'm never a lonely child.

My family was on vacation

when I wandered from the campground.

Douglas found me, lost in the woods,

walking aimlessly around.

His feet are 20 inches long

and he is nine feet tall.

You might think that he scared me,

but he didn't, not at all.

His body is covered with fur,

so he never has to get dressed.

Douglas is a sasquatch,

in case you haven't guessed.

He took me back to my parents.

They were glad I was safe and sound.

Dad said it might be a good thing

to always have Douglas around.

So he invited Douglas to live with us.

Douglas said, "That sounds very good.

I am tired of living alone

way out here in the woods."

When Douglas came home with us

he said, "This is very appealing!

Not only do you have a big backyard

but your house has  very high ceilings!"

When Douglas walks through a doorway,

it's the only time he has to bend.

I'm glad to have Douglas with us.

I've never had a better friend.

He walks me to school every day

and then he walks me home.

I'm not afraid of bullies anymore.

Now they all leave me alone. - Jeff Barnes

Today's Poetry Prompt

Get an empty jar
and a butterfly net.
Walk down the busiest street
of the city you live in
and use the net to catch the words
of everyone who passes by
and put the words in the jar.
Seal the jar when it is full.

Go home and bake a cake

(any flavor you wish),

stirring all the words you caught

into the batter.

Eat one piece of the cake every day

until you have eaten it all.

When you next go to sleep

the most important words

will come to you in a dream.

Write those words on a sheet of paper

when you wake up.

Burn the paper

but keep the ashes.

Spread the ashes on top of the grave

of someone who was dear to you in life.

Go home, but come back the next day.

When you come back, a rose bush

will have grown up out of the grave.

Pick one rose and take it home.

Prick your finger with one of its thorns

and let the drops of your blood

drip onto a blank sheet of paper.

Fold the paper and put it

into an envelope.

Address the envelope to yourself,

put a stamp on it,

and drop it into the nearest mail box.

When the envelope is delivered to you,

open it and unfold the paper.

There is your poem. - Jeff Barnes

Dusk

Patches of dirt
and fractured concrete
cover this lot
where grass once grew.

Afternoon grows late

and the red sunset sky

dissolves by degrees

into icy blue.

The old man

looks out the window

and thinks about a past

that he never knew. - Jeff Barnes

The Vermicious Little Man

He liked to give the impression that he was multiscious
though this was in fact fictitious.
He was actually quite unambitious
and not a little meretricious
and often was pernicious,
sometimes even vicious,
malicious, and flagitious,
so I advise you to be judicious
and when someone claims to be multiscious,
be more than a little suspicious. - Jeff Barnes

Replacements

 He planted seeds on top of his head
after  his hair fell out
and hoped that with enough sun and water
orange tulips would begin to sprout.

When one day his eyes absconded

he put two marbles in their sockets

and made sure that he always had spares

which he carried around in his pockets.

He put jug handles on the sides of his head

after his ears went missing

and used asparagus to replace his departed lips

though it wasn't much good for kissing.

He stuck a big dill pickle on his face

after his nose ran away

but when his tongue disappeared he didn't replace it

for he had nothing he wanted to say. - Jeff Barnes

Mausoleum

 A grave is lonely, dirty, and dark.
That's why I want a mausoleum instead,
so that I might have a spacious place
to accommodate me after I am dead.

Don't take me to the crematorium.

I won't need an embalmer or gravedigger.

I just want to be stuffed and mounted

like Roy Rogers's beloved horse, Trigger.

Prop me up on a comfy couch

in front of a widescreen TV

so that my friends may come and visit

and watch some movies with me.

There will be plenty of food on hand

in case anyone wants a snack.

I'll have the fridge frequently restocked

so my friends will keep coming back. - Jeff Barnes

Haiku

Taken unawares --
poor broken-necked daffodils
drooping in the cold. - Jeff Barnes