Happiness

Sometimes it's enough

to sit and drink coffee

and observe

the leafless dance of branches

in the gray morning breeze

through the glass door

of a November kitchen. - Jeff Barnes

The Treachery of Words

If we have Christmas in July

why can't we have Independence Day in December?

What is the use of sleeping on memory foam

if it never helps us to remember?

An angel fish doesn't have a halo,

nor does it play a harp.

Its main boasting point seems to be

that it's much prettier than a carp.

You may like antipasta 

but that doesn't mean you're against spaghetti.

A Himalayan snowman isn't really abominable,

so please, just call him a Yeti.

Why are gooseberries not made of geese?

Why is breadfruit not made out of bread?

We know that water never sleeps

so what's the use of having a riverbed?

Why do they call French toast French

when it did not originate in France?

Why don't they call it a fowl ball

when chickens go to a formal dance?

Why is there always a traffic jam

but never traffic jelly?

Why can't we buy Indian food

over at the new deli?

Why can we call someone the apple of our eye

but never a grape or pomegranate?
How would we explain our screwed-up language

to someone from another planet?

Why can there be a fork in the road

but never a spoon or a knife?

Maybe I should stop this train of thought

and work on getting a life. - Jeff Barnes

Haiku

Deep in September

under the night clouds, crickets

sing summer to sleep. - Jeff Barnes

Picnic

Blue fauns, green mastodons, and pink-speckled swans

cavorted on the ground.

We carefully avoided the eyeball daisies

as we spread our blankets down.

A woman stood at an ironing board

on the neon purple grass.

We offered her a sandwich,

but she said she'd have to pass.

Then she rode her board like a surfer

and bade us all goodbye.

She said she had laundry to deliver

as she zoomed off into the sky.

Some fish at at the bottom of a pond

were enjoying their afternoon tea.

We got a craving for ice cream cones,

so we picked some from a nearby tree.

As the day morphed into evening

the daisies all closed their eyes.

The sun gave us a wink and wave

and said he had somewhere else to rise.

We lay back on our blankets

after he vanished from sight

and gazed at the backbone of the universe,

the skeleton of night. - Jeff Barnes

Haiku

Cat sits regally

like a statue of Bastet

in the litter box. - Jeff Barnes

Gardener

She realized

as she uprooted

his neglected flower bed's

overgrown weeds

that he gardened

like he fathered,

disappearing shortly after

he had sown his seeds. - Jeff Barnes

Concert

These days we look

more like retirees

on a cruise

than the bohemian

flower children we once

fancied ourselves

as we line up outside

the concert venue, waiting

for the doors to open.

The lead guitarist plays

his solos as flawlessly as ever,

though he resembles

the Crypt Keeper

when he glares at the audience

with a "get off my lawn" scowl,

and I wonder if he will

start shaking his

sunburst Gibson hollow body

like a cane as he shouts

at people for talking,

and tells them

to stop taking photos.

But still, I make you laugh,

as I do every time 

at these events

when I lean toward you and,

with my mouth to your ear

say, "This is a rock concert!

What are all these old people

doing here?" - Jeff Barnes