Wishes

I wish I had hair like David Lynch
but not like Kim Jon Un.
I wish I could have a shootout at noon
but only with a water gun.

I wish I could paint like Vincent Van Gogh

but I want to keep both my ears.

I wish I could write as well as John Keats

but live a lot more years.

I wish I could run as fast as a cheetah

across the Serengeti

and lose about eighty-five pounds

on a diet of pizza and spaghetti.

I wish I had the strength of Superman

and could squeeze diamonds out of coal.

I wish I were as good looking as Narcissus

without being such an asshole.

There are so many things I wish for

to make my life more sweet,

but if all my wishes were horses

there'd be nothing but shit on the streets. - Jeff Barnes