Tuesday, April 29, 2025

Instructions for My Funeral

I want my funeral to be a celebration of my life.
I absolutely forbid anybody to mourn.
Don't show up with sorrowful faces.
It should be a happier day than the day I was born.

Don't play lugubrious, funereal music
and don't fill the room with the sounds of your sobs.
I want plastic skeletons to dangle from the ceiling,
merrily dancing to Saint-Saenz's "Danse Macabre."

I couldn't stand to be in a suit and tie
with everybody standing around my coffin staring.
Dress me in jeans and a Grim Reaper t-shirt.
That's what I would like to be wearing.

Laugh and tell each other grim jokes.
Don't stand around all teary-eyed.
I want you to dance to Terry Teene's "Curse of the Hearse"
as they come to load me in for my last ride. - Jeff Barnes

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