I knew a man named Mr. Green
who was crusty, irksome, and downright mean.
He was always venting his spleen
about how he hated the color green.
He paved his yard with concrete
to avoid having grass.
He thought Kermit the frog
was nauseating and crass.
Every year on March 17th
he hid himself away.
He couldn't stand the sight of people
dressing for St. Patrick's Day.
The very sight of broccoli
gave him a sense of dread.
He always shunned green apples
and only ate the red.
Even when he was a child
he would pout and sulk
if anyone gave him a comic book
featuring the Incredible Hulk
He said he'd rather starve than eat asparagus,
broccoli, or avocado toast.
He thought of changing his name until he realized
it was himself that he hated most. - Jeff Barnes
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