Balking at Baseball
The pitcher was on the mound
but it was full of beer.
It didn't seem likely that our team
would win the pennant this year.
The bases all were loaded
because they'd had too much to drink.
In the field there was no chatter,
just the sound of glasses going clink.
At the plate there was no batter
because it had been baked into a cake.
The game was so long and boring
that no one in the stands could stay awake.
There was nary a fly ball
because the flies had been castrated.
I turned to my friend Martin and said,
"I always knew this game was overrated!"
I think that baseball is boring,
whether it be in a sandlot or the Astrodome
I have never hit a home run,
nevertheless I am going home. - Jeff Barnes
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